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Caitlin Redmon

Chaotic Anxiety

Chaotic Anxiety
By: Anonymous

Chaotic Anxiety 

April 30th, 2019

I sit upon a grassy field in which there is nothing wrong.

The world stopped for a moment of tranquility and light.

The birds shared with me their melodic song. 

But I still grew cautious of the burning night.

The cruel, grey smoke will come and set my paradise ablaze.

Soon it will approach, as it had again and again.

I see it in an inky, encompassing haze.

The blackening fire and smoke will cause my only pain.

It comes to me, attempting to hit like daggers into my mind.

I wield a shield of optimism, and I win these battles.

But, the problem remains, and I am not blind.

If I was stronger, I could be free of my murky shackles.

The bleak smoke has come and set my paradise ablaze.

Soon it will worsen, as it had again and again.

I see it in an inky, encompassing haze.

The blacken fire and smoke are causing my only pain.

The darken smoke, no longer a sword, but a tiny eerie voice.

It looms over me, holds me close, and softly mutters.

I shiver and listen without a choice.

The world morphs and my heart flutters.

The cynical smoke invades my thoughts

And my voice is growing stranger.

My intellect is fading.

And the ashen fire reeks of danger.

My stomach is enlarging.

And my ache starts to multiply.

The mutters turn to forceful barking.

The aggressive smoke cannot be satisfied.

My paradise is destroyed in the fierce night flames.

I have seen this again and again.

I perceive the smoke as a cloudy mirror; I see myself to blame.

The long-blackened fire and smoke control my brain.

The noise dissipates, and my feet float off the ground.

As the raven fire turns to a dull fog, I start to numb.

Into the sadness and nothing, I drown.

Across the vast sky of dreary mist, I realize what is to come.

I am consumed by the monstrous pitch-dark fire.

Just in an instant, it swallows me whole.

With no hope, I become a broken crier.

The flames always damage my restless soul.

I carry on after the fire is extinguished by tears.

My new paradise is slowly approaching in the distance.

Overtime, this terrible cycle has faded my fears.

Because I know that through the misery, I can rely on persistence.

I sit upon a grassy field, recovering from the firestorm.

I watch the adorable bunnies as they begin to play.

I focus now on them and not on the sparks growing warm.

I will enjoy life and be cautious of the dawning day.